You are going to learn from three of the best 'Zerkers in the galaxy about what it takes to be a great Gunzerker: Me, East, the Gun Lust Gunzerker; John, the Rampage Gunzerker; and Mick, the Brawn Gunzerker.
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I look at this planet, and I don't like what I see. I mean, what happened? How did everything that was so good get so bad? Hyperion’s making a bigger mess of the mess that Pandora was already covered in, under the guise of fixing it up. What this planet needs is someone to clean the cleaner and we’re the guys for the job.
We Gunzerkers are the men sent to the front line to take the bullets while other men and women claim the victory for themselves. We draw the enemy’s attention and cause as much carnage as we can because we're expendable. When the enemy is thoroughly distracted, our so-called comrades step in and take the kill. Why do we do it then? Because killing is all we’re good at.
I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news
There a few things us Gunzerkers never forget. We've learned them on the battlefield and we use them because they save our lives. These things make up our code of conduct, so learn them and learn them well because they might just save your life.
I WILL always remember not to reload guns when possible. Firing my weapon is what I live for and I will fire until I die. When I have used all the rounds in my clip I will grab another weapon to fire, so that I never have to slow down. As a Gunzerker, I am adept at keeping my rifles always firing and my six-shooters never empty. With my skills I grant myself the ability to gain bonuses from swapping weapons and from firing my gun down to the last shot.
I WON'T forget that my “Gunzerking” skill is my strength and my saving grace. To walk head first into overwhelming odds with my “Gunzerking” skill at full-force is a promise of sweet death to my enemies; to walk into the same odds without my skill is a promise of a shameful and reckless death. I will use cover, be cautious and wait until I am ready to show the full extent of my ability before tackling my foes head-on.
I WILL never stop firing no matter what incredible guns I see lying on the ground. My job and my duty is to draw fire and give it right back to my enemy, so that my allies may fight unscathed, to the fullest of their abilities. As I fire, I may find that, through my belief in my weapon, my magazines are refilled without a reload. When this happens I shall thank my weapon by feeding it more enemies as a gift.
And all Gunzerkers say, oorah and oorah.
Damn, that thing's loud!
I walk the streets of Sanctuary and see the filth creeping up from the gutters, innocent men and women killed because criminals like this Handsome Jack punk are allowed to roam free. The law has its hands tied in legislation and innocent people are left to die because of it. That's why I put down my badge and became a Gun Lust Gunzerker, because I can cross lines the cops can't. Together with my revolver, I wipe Pandora clean of the scum that plagues it and I'll teach you how to do the same. Follow my instructions and you'll learn how to draw quicker and reload faster than any of those other bastards on the streets.
To start, you're going to need to have a “Quick Draw,” because being a good shot won't save you from someone with a fast one. Pulling out your gun faster than the other guy will have you wiping low-lives off the street without breaking a sweat. A “Quick Draw” will also give you faster weapon swapping speed and more critical hit damage, so that when you hit them between the eyes you'll make sure they're a whole lot shorter.
Being a Gun Lust Gunzerker is about getting the most out of each and every shot, and there is no better weapon to accomplish this than a good handgun. While all those other sissy pricks run around with guns too big to carry, you're gonna pack a couple of revolvers; 'mine is bigger' is not the mindset you're gonna carry. 'Mine'll kill you deader:' Now that's the way a Gun Lust 'Zerker should think. With a good revolver, proper training and a boost to your pistol damage and pistol reload speed, you'll be saying “I'm Your Huckleberry” just before pinning your enemies with six lead medals.
Hold on, hot shot; you think you're done? You're done when I say you're done. A 'Zerker isn't nothin' without his “Gunzerking” ability and with “Divergent Likeness,” you'll increase your damage while “Gunzerking” two of the same type of gun, or increase your accuracy while using two different types of guns. What can you do with that? Use your head, punk! You just found a way to do more damage with a pistol, so pull out two of them while “Gunzerking” and you'll further increase your pistol power.
What? What do you mean revolvers need to be reloaded too frequently? You kids have all of this technology in your hands and no brains to use it. Why don't you hop onto your tricycle, head down to your nearest corner shop and buy an “Auto-Loader” for the price of one week's worth of mowing lawns. What's an “Auto-Loader?” Don't they teach you anything in school? An “Auto-Loader” is a device that reloads any weapons that are not currently in your hand every time you kill an enemy. Now stop whining and go get one!
An “Auto-Loader” isn't the only way to make the most out of those few precious bullets a handgun uses; with proper focus and enough grit, you can make the last shot of any of your guns do up to four times more damage. The last shot fired is what I call the “Money Shot” and it'll insure that anyone who thinks they've got you dead to rights has another thing coming. Just make sure you're using a handgun with a clip size of at least 10 rounds, or else you won't be making any “Money Shot”s, you understand?
Listen kid, I don't like you much, but I don't like seeing innocent people dying because they don't know how to handle themselves. You aren't going to make it very far if you don't know how to hold your own when things start to get dicey. If you find yourself surrounded on all sides and have to Fight For Your Life, you're gonna wanna have the guts to not give in. You need to remember that you're just “Down Not Out” and start “Gunzerking.” That's right kid, you now know how to start “Gunzerking” when you're in a Fight For Your Life. Use it to put some scumbags into the ground.
Even when you're too out of breath to keep “Gunzerking,” you've gotta learn to never stop firing your gun, so that you always “Keep It Piping Hot.” If you can do that, you'll be able to do more gun damage, melee damage and grenade damage whenever you're not “Gunzerking.” Just make sure you don't push yourself too hard; on a scale of one-to-five, you should only be at a three. You can always come back and get those two extra points in there, but you shouldn't get distracted from my last lesson.
Kid, there's “No Kill Like Overkill,” I'll promise you that. You're now able to gain bonus gun damage in the amount of the excess damage you do when you kill an enemy. What do you mean that doesn't make sense? You dumb little punk! Let me break it down into little pieces so your infant-like constitution can handle it: If a scumbag can take five shots before biting it and you hit him with six, the power of that sixth shot will transfer over and increase your gun damage by the extra damage that it dealt. Make sense now? Just remember that one of the best weapons you can use for this skill is a handgun, since it does some of the highest damage per shot, it's faster than a sniper and more accurate than most other guns.
Well kid, you've been a royal pain in the ass, but I think you're ready to go patrol on your own. Being a Gun Lust Gunzerker and focusing on pistols isn't for candy-asses. You have to have the balls to pull the trigger before your enemy does and the accuracy to make sure that that bullet installs a new porthole in his cranium. If this seems too difficult for you, maybe you oughta head over to John and learn to fire his giant over-compensation devices. You heard me! Get outta my sight!
Well come and get it!
'Ey yo! East sent you my way to be a Rampage Gunzerker, eh? Sure shooting pistols is nice and all, but you won't be taking down Handsome Jack's army with a six-shooter. What you need is a good automatic weapon that you never have to stop firing and the endurance to stay “Gunzerking” longer, that way you can guarantee that you draw first blood, not them!
Look pal, I'm gonna lay it out for you flat on the table: Ain't nobody out here coming for us. We're the guys they drop in behind enemy lines so that we can raise hell, but they don't expect us to come back alive. I hate to break it to ya, but we're expendable, that's why we've gotta make the most of what we've got and learning to fire an “Inconceivable” amount of bullets is one of the best ways to keep ourselves in the fight. If you know what you're doing, you can make it so that half the time you fire bullets they don't consume any ammo at all.
Just remember that in war there are no innocent civilians. That's why you gotta make sure you're always ready for combat, which means making your “Gunzerking” ability “Last Longer” by increasing the duration of it. You also need to make sure your weapon fires “Steady As She Goes” while “Gunzerking,” and you can do this by increasing your accuracy when you hit your enemies and by reducing your recoil significantly.
Now, I don't know about you, but I don't particularly like killing, but for us 'Zerkers it's in our blood and it's all we're good at. And we are REALLY good at it, that's why we never ask did I fire “5 Shots Or 6”? We never have to ask because we we have the chance of gaining ammo whenever we fire instead of losing it.
You see other men walk onto the battlefield riding stag, shouting “Yippie Ki Yay,” like they're cowboys, but they all end up the same; a victim of a war that no one understands for a planet that already forgot their names. If they had known that they could increase the duration of their “Gunzerking” with every kill, maybe they wouldn't be dead today. Or maybe that's just wishful thinking. War is hell.
As much as I hate this damned war, I'll never stop throwing my life on the line for this planet. Even though I'll be forgotten when I'm dead and buried, I'll never stop shouting “Get Some” when surrounded by my enemies, which allows me to get back to “Gunzerking” faster every time I shoot an enemy. Fighting is in my blood and I'd gladly bleed for this damned planet! Even when yelling “Get Some,” I never forget to save one round for the bastards in the top brass who keep throwing soldiers out to their deaths! In a clip of five rounds, I only put four in the chamber, if you know what I mean.
Just remember, pal: We have to “Keep Firing...” We can't ever stop! When we “Keep Firing...” we find ways to gradually increase our fire rate and our reload speed. When everyone back home thinks the war is over, we'll still be here and we will always “Keep Firing...”
When you've reached the pinnacle of your own skills, then you can always put that final bullet into your “Get Some” chamber and even think about increasing your “Gunzerking” cooldown rate by 25% by saying,”I'm Ready Already.” That's only if you're looking to never have to stop “Gunzerking.”
If war isn't for you, then maybe you should head home and pick up a sport, like boxing. I don't think less of you, kid; if I had the choice, I'd do the same thing. Just go and talk to Mick and he'll teach you about waging war in the ring, instead of on the battlefield.
You gotta be a moron to wanna be a fighter.
Now, John might've taught you how to endlessly fire guns, and that's okay, but I'm gonna teach you about what it means to fight like a man; I'm going to teach you the art of fighting in the ring with the Brawn tree. Get it together, ya bum!
First, we've got to get your endurance together! We'll start by making you “Hard To Kill,” which means we'll work on increasing your maximum health and giving you some natural health regeneration. After that, I only want to hear you shouting,”I'm The Juggernaut,” because you'll be able to reduce the damage you take from enemies, but only after you knock them out, you got that?
Think you're a tough guy 'cause you can take a hit? Ha! I used to be able to fight three men at least 200 lbs. heavier than me a piece with a blindfold and both hands tied behind my back. You know why I was that good? “Asbestos”! That's why! Bad for your health? Hardly! I call it the ultimate form of conditioning. “Asbestos” will reduce the duration of all negative status effects, so you'll be prepared for any sucker punch your opponent throws atcha! Just make sure that you only put four days training into it instead of five; we've got more important things to think about!
And remember: This skill doesn't protect you from the affects of women, so no dames! They make ya legs weak!
So you can take a hit and you're prepared for anything your opponent throws at ya, big deal! You can't be a boxer without knowing how to throw a grand-slam punch, so I'm going to teach ya how to create a “Fistful Of Hurt.” First, you're gonna transform your normal melee attack into a special punch, but be careful, because you'll gas yourself too quickly if you use frequently; that's why I suggest you wait a good 15 seconds before swing. The next thing you're gonna wanna do is put all of your force into that swing, so that you do massive damage against your opponent. And lastly, you're gonna wanna make sure you add a lot of knockback to your swing. With all of these things in mind, you now know how to properly use my “Fistful Of Hurt.” Now get back to training!
That's right cowboy, this “Just Got Real,” because you've now increased the damage you do with any weapon you use, but who cares? You're a man of the ring, so your fists are all you need. But if you find yourself in a bout outside of it, you know that you can handle yourself with any weapon you have in your possession! Give me 15 laps, you lazy sack of crap!
What's that? You want your ring name to be “Sexual Tyrannosaurus?”
What kind of cockamamie name is that? I'll never understand you kids today. The only way I'm letting you use such a stupid name is if you can increase your health regeneration whenever you take a hit! What's that? The “Sexual Tyrannosaurus” can do that? Referring to yourself in the third-person now, eh? I'll have you punching beef in a meat locker for the next 12 hours if you don't shape up!
Well you sonuvabitch! You actually did it! You have a shot at the title! If Apollo has you on the ropes and you feel like you're about to lose the fight, just shout “Come At Me Bro” and you're sure to get a second wind! Just shouting that phrase has the power to transform your normal Gunzerking skill into a taunt that'll grab the attention of all enemies in the area, while reducing your damage and increasing your regeneration; all of this while fully restoring your health.
You are not expendable
Well kid, you did it: You went toe-to-toe with Apollo and lived to tell that tale. Even though you didn't win the title, you still didn't get knocked out. You've got the two things it takes to be a Gunzerker: Guts and heart, and you've got them in spades. The fight's not over though, this bum named Handsome Jack is still out there and you gotta give 'im the ol' one-two punch in the sweet spot. Go out there and win the championship! I'll be in your corner until the very end.
For the rest of you bums, get ready for the final round, because the fight ain't over until it's over! You've got one more guide coming your way and I want you to be ready for it! Now get out there and train like ya believe in something!
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