Achievements are a wonderful thing. You can easily build yourself some credit on Xbox Live as your score rises, showing everyone just how dedicated a gamer you are. This is especially true as you complete games for the full GamerScore on a release, as it shows just how much work you put into it.
Then there are those odd Achievements – the ones that stay on your GamerScore but don’t necessarily add anything. They’re zero point Achievements, and they actually exist on a number of high-profile titles. Earning them adds nothing to your score, though your repertoire might take a positive – or negative – hit if someone sees them on your accomplishment list.
If you want all the Achievements – and some of you really, really do – here are some of the better zero-point ones you can unlock. Some will take effort, while others can be earned in no time flat. That is, if you’re in a hurry to look like you did very little.
TNA Impact
You may be wrestling your way through WWE 13 about this time, but if you get a chance, check out Midway’s older TNA Impact game, which isn’t bad for the money. And if you feel like it, go after two zero-point Achievements for this game.
The first, Duckin’ n Dodgin’, is awarded when you begin a match, but don’t take a swing at anyone. Instead, sit outside the ring for a minute to avoid the guy, while he sits there and taunts you. After a minute, the award will unlock. The second, Jobber Nation, is awarded when you lose five online matches in a row. Granted, it may take a while to find an online match considering this game’s age, but if you get a friend to kick your butt that many times, glory – or lack thereof – is yours.
Blitz the League
Another older Midway sports title, Blitz the League has plenty of zero point Achievements to unlock for failing miserably – five in all.
Weak Sauce comes to you if you lose to Arizona in game one of Campaign Mode; O RLY? Is awarded if you lose by more than 24 points in Campaign Mode (you’ll really need to suck to do this); Blind comes with throwing five interceptions in one game; ROFL Waffle gets added by losing five games in a row online (again, takes a while to connect to a match with an older game); and, finally, there’s Lollercoaster, which is all yours if you fumble five times in a game. Enjoy being on the level of the Buffalo Bills!
Dead Or Alive 4
Tecmo’s older fighting game is still good fun to play, but if you suck going at it online against others, not to worry. You can still earn five zero-point Achievements for your trouble. If you don’t go nuts first, that is.
All of these are unlockable in the online fights. Achieved Grade “D” and Achieved Grade “E” come when you’re ranked at the end of the round, and if you stink, they’re easy to get. The others come with losing consecutively against online opponents, whether it’s 5, 10 or 20 Straight Losses.
One thing’s for sure. Everyone will know you’re easy pickings when they see these in your listing. Maybe you should reconsider. Hmmm…
Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock
Activision’s prominent Guitar Hero game (before sequelitis set in and the series eventually packed its bags) has a number of awards for your hard shredding, including a doozy for beating Through the Fire and Flames on Expert. But if you prefer to walk away from a good guitar battle, there’s an award for that.
Simply refuse a boss battle anytime during the game, and you’ll be stuck with a Tail Between Your Legs award (complete with humiliating pink kitty guitar pick).
Brothers In Arms: Hell’s Highway
Unlike the other Achievements on this list, Brothers In Arms’ zero Achievements actually come with some nobility attached. These are worth having in your collection, especially if you have friends that are fans of the game.
The seven Achievements are as follows…
The Draft – Unlocked when you are joined by a friend in an online match
Earned In Blood – Unlocked when your squad appoints you the leader for another round
Truly Inspired – Unlocked when you win a match under a commander with the Earned in Blood achievement
Victory or Death – Unlocked by killing someone who has the Truly Inspired achievement
Casual Capturer – Unlocked after completing your first four player capture game
Novice Capturer – Unlocked after completing five capture games (minimum four players per game)
Veteran Capturer – Unlocked after completing 20 capture games (minimum four players per game)
This one’s rather decent in online popularity, so give it a go!
Quake II
Quake II, which was included as a bonus disc with Quake 4, isn’t a bad PC-to-Xbox 360 conversion at all. And it’s got some heft to it, especially if you’re a fan of the original. However, if you’re looking to get some Achievements out of it, they’re here – but they’re all zero-pointers.
A total of nine are available, ranging from Establish Communications (by getting a communication link to the ship) to Destroy Strogg Main Reactor (infiltrating and taking down the reactor) to Assassinate the Markon (pretty much self explanatory) are available. Just have fun with this one. It’s not bad for a “bonus” game.
Halo 3 Vidmaster and Kameo: Elements of Power DLC
Some downloadable content just doesn’t reward you for the trouble. This was definitely the case for Halo 3’s Vidmaster add-on update, which came with three and Kameo’s Co-Op Pack, which included nine (mostly consisting of earning A ranks on co-op missions and completing 10, 20 or 50 co-op games).
Halo’s are relatively easy to earn, depending how skilled you are. Annual comes with completing Halo on 4-player legendary Live co-op with Iron, and everyone in Ghosts; Lightswitch is earned by earning the rank of Lieutenant in the EXP system; and 7 on 7 is awarded by entering a ranked or social playlist with 7 EXP exactly.
High School Musical 3: Senior Year DANCE!
Last but definitely not least, we have a zero-point Achievement that will make you look like a complete fool. It’s for the dancing edition of High School Musical 3, and it comes in the form of Class Clown, which is awarded for simply failing a song. So, yeah, have at it.
